F.E.A.R.
F.E.A.R. (False Evidence [that] Appears Real -LifeHack
F.E.A.R.
F.alse E.vidence [that] A.ppears R.eal
-LifeHack
Fear, more than anything, has been the wall that blocks me from doing the things I want to do and being the person I aspire to be. The fear of not being good enough creeps its way into my consciousness, only loosening its grip when I have raised my hands in submission.
"I probably shouldn't do that... It's too risky... It wasn't that good anyway... Maybe next year..."
This morning, as I was listening to Michael Hyatt's podcast, "Escape Perfectionism Once and for All," it hit me that I have been writing these blog posts, and telling myself I'll go public with the next post... maybe. The first one was okay, but I wasn't ready. The second post could use some work, and I didn't want to go public with that topic. I'm sure there was some other excuse for the third. Here I am, four posts later, and I've shared my blog with three people... literally. Hyatt talks about how we have to let go of this idea of being perfect because it keeps us from taking action. Nothing is ever going to be perfect, and we will rarely feel ready, but we can't let the consequential fear paralyze us.
So what are we to do? Well, for starters, we need to take action.
Instead of letting fear keep me from showing people that I've started a blog, I need to do the opposite. That feeling of vulnerability I have about my writing will never be completely gone, especially if I'm writing about things that are so close to my heart. However, that can't be the reason why I choose to do nothing at all.
In his podcast, Hyatt asks, "is it going to be valuable? Is it going to help others?" I have to remember that I do have something to offer. My experience thus far has value, my opinion matters, and I mean something. Maybe my story will help others who have struggled similarly; maybe it can help those who have smiled too much, and those who didn't say "no" enough.
Emerson once said, "Always do what you are afraid to do." So I am going to walk my talk, be okay with my imperfections (see previous post: Approve Yourself), and continue to love myself along the way.
Here I am world! Flawed and all!!!!!
Till next time, Y'all,
CPIII
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How do you overcome your fear? How do you feel when you do?
Approve Yourself
"Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." - Louise Hay
"Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." - Louise Hay
Perfectionism (noun): refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.
The whole idea of being perfect continues to haunt my thoughts, dreams, and actions. Sure, sometimes I am able to push myself further and achieve greater results because of perfectionism, but most of the time it only allows the harsh criticism in my head to overcome the healthy and realistic thoughts that should be in there place.
"That was okay, but you could do so much better... you just have to work harder, do more, push yourself..."
It goes on and on, and it never makes me feel any better or appreciate what I've already accomplished. This perfectionist side of me comes out most when I review past performances. I quickly become consumed with the idea that everything I did wasn't good enough. The outcome? Singing and performing was no longer fun, it was just work. This unquenchable thirst to be perfect controlled my life and sucked the happiness or contentment out of any situation.
All of my life, I sought approval from others, and maybe that's because I never approved of myself. Even as a child, I sought approval from my teacher, parents, and any other adult figure in my life. But as the old saying goes,
"If you can't love yourself, how can anyone else love you?"
Seeking approval, acceptance, and love outside of myself was not the answer. I had to look on the inside, and be okay with the view. I had to love myself and be okay with where I am today. Instead of being my worst critic, why not try to be my best supporter? What if that was possible? What if I didn't have to be perfect? I realized that if I am to love myself, where I am today, I have to accept that I am not perfect and that I will never be perfect.
To be human is to be imperfect. Once I accepted that, it was finally okay to accept myself as an imperfect being. Today, I can honestly say that I love myself as I am, and that, my friends, is priceless.
Till next time, Y'all!
CPIII
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Apply for a FREE Strategy call with me. As an Empowerment Coach, Songwriter, and Performer, I have helped many find their own light… Now let’s find YOURS!
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We've all been our worst critic. When did it help? When did it not?
You Don’t Have To Be Good
"You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves." -Mary Oliver
"You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves." -Mary Oliver
I think it is safe to say that in the year 2015, we are considerably blessed. Historically, freedom of thought and freedom from basic needs were nonexistent. We now have the capacity to do what we love; we get a chance to dream. With the Technological Age in full motion, we are able to think and create things that we didn't have time to before. In the past, it was easy for things to stay the same, but if you slow down in 2015, the world will most surely pass you by.
This is a very touchy subject because there are many people who still go to sleep hungry, and even more people who wake up without jobs. I am so internally conflicted, even while writing this post, because of recent (and historical) events in America. All of the death, violence, oppression, greed, and hatred; it is all so scary, and so real. How can I write about something in a positive manner when it seems like we have so far to go?
Perhaps we need to shed some positive light during the dark hours in order to remember our humanity, to remember what we are fighting for. If it was all dark, what would be the point? With all this in mind, there is still no denying that this day and age has brought opportunities to many of us that mankind has never experienced (at least that we know of).
So today, I am thankful for the opportunities I have been given to reason, dream, and imagine. I am thankful for the opportunities to be creative, explore my boundaries, and do what I love.
Even more so, I respect these opportunities and see them as a responsibility. I have been given these gifts and they shall not go unused or used in a way that only helps myself. It is my responsibility to love and care for others while exploring who I am and my place in the world.
Till next time y'all,
CPIII
Work With Me
Apply for a FREE Strategy call with me. As an Empowerment Coach, Songwriter, and Performer, I have helped many find their own light… Now let’s find YOURS!
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Let me know your thoughts! Let's reason together!
Find Your Passion
"Find your passion, invest in yourself through gaining wisdom, knowledge, and never, ever, stop learning." - J.A. Davis
"Find your passion, invest in yourself through gaining wisdom, knowledge, and never, ever, stop learning." - J.A. Davis
Computers were a passion of mine, so I dreamed of becoming a Computer Engineer. Then came Chemistry, I really thought I found it then; Chemical Engineering was the thing for me. Then there was Photography. Then there was Theater...
I really loved theater, but I thought it was something that you just do for fun, nothing to make a career out of. I mean, that's what I have been told my whole life, and that was something I truly believed. But oh my heart! How it longed to be on the stage ever since the lights hit my face. Not in some "diva" kind of way, but in the "this is where I belong" kind of way.
Singing was something that always came natural to me. It was fun, and I was always doing it. In the shower, on the hour+ drives home everyday, while listening to my favorite music (which usually meant me singing in my falsetto to Destiny's Child or Christina Aguilera) , etc. Now that I look back, I had this idea that something so fun couldn't be what I ended up doing with my life. It had to have been something else. It's like I was running or hiding from the fact that singing was really the only thing I wanted to do.
During my first musical, I was encouraged to sing. Now, I've had a few family functions where people asked me to sing, but this was different. This was encouragement from people who wanted to sing with me... for three hours... everyday. WHAT?!?!?! That was when I blossomed. That was when I started thinking that maybe this could be a career.
10+ years later, and perhaps 1000 times more confused, singing is still at the core of my being. It is my way to communicate with the world, to maneuver through the world. Today, singing means more to me than it ever has. After everything that's happened (that's a story for another post), singing is still what I think about when I wake up and when I go to sleep.
I thought that computers, chemistry, theater, photography, and so many other things were my passion. Hell, maybe they are, but I think the one thing I am most passionate about has been there all along, and that's singing.
Till next time y'all,
CPIII
Work With Me
Apply for a FREE Strategy call with me. As an Empowerment Coach, Songwriter, and Performer, I have helped many find their own light… Now let’s find YOURS!
Share with me!
What are you passionate about?
What did you think you were passionate about, but realized it was something else entirely?